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So many choices, such little time!

Glutton, greedy, fat person in a skinny body..I’ve been called it all. I just love a variety of foods, all at once LOL. Although it can get expensive when ordering at a restaurant as a party of one, my palate is always pleasantly pleased. This brings me to a new business that encompasses just that, trying different dishes in a short time span. Dishcrawl!

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I was just put on to it through my good friend Trace who’s son is an ambassador for their D.C. division. Qui-Juan Jones was actually featured on the nightly news speaking about Dishcrawl here. This brother is a mover and shaker out there and the perfect guide for such an outing. He’s young, savvy, handsome, and he knows how to have a good time. So what exactly is it? Basically, he takes a group of people to a few restaurants and the group gets to sample different dishes from each spot.

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This is my kind of outing! Especially for someone who A. loves food and B. rolls solo very often. You get to meet new people, try new dishes, and expose yourself to different cultures all within a couple of hours or so. Although I’ve had yet to experience Dishcrawl, I’m super anxious and salivating just at the thought of it. My only deal breaker, no dessert on the menu. This is a must have for me because god forbid the meal disappoints, the restaurant could definitely make it up to me with anything topped with whipped cream, filled with custard, dusted with confectioner’s sugar, glazed with honey..Ummm, I think you get the picture.

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So, I’ve just signed up myself for my area which sadly, isn’t DC. If you’re in the D.C area, go ahead and schedule a food tour here: http://www.dishcrawl.com/dc/?w=1 . You can also follow them on twitter @dishcrawlDC. Check back with me periodically to find out when/how my “Dishcrawl experience” went. 🙂

Misery

Misery loves company, but she’s such a lousy host
How dare she invite me and not bake a roast?!
No cheer, no laughter or tasty hor’d oeuvres
But alcoholic beverages will definitely be served
All she does is mope and whine
Complain and nag while sipping cheap wine
She gets lonely and restless when she’s feeling down
Irritated and annoyed cause no one’s around
For her to scream at and take her verbal assaults
Or listen to her rants, man this chick is off!!
Drunk dialing and texting her close family and friends
She does not discriminate, women, kids, and even men
Think she needs a pet or maybe to get laid
Can’t be normal for a person to behave that way
Seeking victims for a life to destroy
See her calling, I hit decline..won’t let her steal my joy

Misery is toxic. Do you know her?

My favorite vase is broken….

Can you believe this?! Someone broke my favorite vase
Left it shattered in pieces, I don’t know who it was
No note was left, can’t dust for prints
I’ve been searching for clues ever since
Was it someone I know too ashamed to apologize?
Or maybe a stranger who just didn’t realize
Either way here I am attempting to clean up the mess
Kneeling on all fours in my favorite dress
How do I reconstruct this jigsaw puzzle made of glass?
Which glue is best for a hold that will last?
You see, I’ve had this vase for as long as I can remember
And I’ve filled it with poinsettias every December
It was made especially for me, you won’t find it in stores
A one of a kind, they never produced more
Bloody fingers and hands, what a daunting task
Perhaps I should just toss the remnants in the trash
That way I could ensure this would never happen again
No vase, no possible accidents or suspects to pin
I think now I will replace it with a decorative rock
Those are strong and sturdy and they don’t cost a lot
Sure I can’t fill them with flowers and brighten up a room
And yeah, the sunlight won’t make it sparkle or glow like the moon
But a rock can be dropped and it won’t shatter
It will still be whole and that’s all that matters

How do you protect your vase?

The Elusive Ruby Woo

Have you been lucky enough to meet her? Some time ago, everywhere I looked, someone was raving about Ms. Woo. They said how beautiful she was and how she can compliment any woman who’s lips she graced. A co-worker happened to be wearing her one day and I must admit, Ms. Woo is fierce! I said to myself, “Self, you need that in you beauty arsenal”.

So the hunt began. I visited a M.A.C. located in Macy’s, sold out. I checked online at various make-up retailers, sold out. Finally, I went to a M.A.C. store one day with the hopes of scoring this new dressing for my lips. Straight over to the lipsticks, browsing all of the reds, she was not there 😦 A sales boy came over because he noticed my look of disappointment mixed with a hint of anxiety. I told him I wanted Ruby Woo. “She’s on backorder until the 26th”, he replied. I got excited! Today was the 19th, so in approximately seven days, I shall have her. Not so fast. He continued,”but we are only getting in six tubes and they’re already accounted for”. Unbelievable! Not one to leave empty handed, I asked for a color very close to Ms. Woo. He presented me with a lip pencil named “Cherry”. I’ll admit, she was quite stunning. Sold!

Rushing home in the rain, I couldn’t wait to try my new color. Once I got there, I cleaned my lips off and began to pencil them in. The pencil glides across the lips with ease, slightly creamy too. The end result was absolutely beautiful. This became my new “go to” color. It lasts through eating, drinking, and contact with skin.

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A word to the wise, for the best application, I suggest using a lip scrub prior. Any dry skin on the lips can cause the color and your lips to look very dry and unappealing. I use “Lip Strip” by Laura Geller. You can purchase it at laurageller.com. Once, I skipped the scrub and had red skin flakes dangling from my lips. Before you ask, no, I did not go out like that.

So for those of you that aren’t lucky enough to find Ms. Woo, M.A.C.’s “Cherry” lip liner is a great alternative. Happy hunting! 🙂

Attention Seekers or Open Books?

*Disclaimer: This article was not written with the intent of offending anyone. If you in fact take offense, then it may pertain to you since only a hit dog will holler.*

Sometimes, I wish I had the courage to be an open book and let the world see all that I am in my greatness as well as fault. Other times, my privacy is just that, MINE! Honestly, I don’t feel as if every person deserves to see all aspects of my life or faucets of my personality. As an introvert, observation over display is my way of life. The people who mean the most to me will know of my achievements, disappointments, embarrassing moments, etc. We stay in touch as often as I feel like being bothered.

This brings me to the new “IG and FB as a personal journal” era that’s been thrusted upon us all. I cannot for the life of me understand why people feel the need to share so much personal information on these social networking sites. Photos from a recent vacation or outing with the kids, who doesn’t love to see that? Inspirational quotes to help everyone get through their day or sharing some good news, bring it on. We all like to stay connected in some sort of fashion, but it’s gone to a whole new level. Excuse me, but ummm, I couldn’t care less that you bought new shoes. Unless they’re up for sale, there’s no reason we all need to know that. If you happen to be selling them, there’s an outlet for that. It’s called ebay. Yes, I know that’s the “in” thing to do since celebrities started the trend with pics of red bottoms and other designer footwear on their timelines, but it’s overkill. So you like to eat out. Most of us do but no need to show each and every time you “check in” at a restaurant. Oh, you’re feeling super sexy and confident while lounging in your bra and panties? Don’t just admire yourself in the mirror like normal folk, take a picture for all of the world to see! Let everyone “like” and gush in the comments section. Bet your ego got a hole stroked into it. Sad part is, half of the women who do this really shouldn’t. Stomach sucked in, arm strategically placed over your love handles. Call me crazy, but anyone I haven’t been intimate with should not have the privilege of seeing me in such an intimate manner. Unless you are an aspiring VS model attempting to build an online portfolio, save those pics for the lucky man in your life. There’s nothing wrong with being proud of your body, but did you ever consider that certain people may not want to view you in that light, i.e. followers that are really your friends in “real” life?Let’s not forget about the unintelligible rants that make me shake my head. Put ’em on blast! Air him out! Yeah, tell everyone about your no good family member who stole money from you and how you’re done with them and how when you see them, you are going to beat them down into a bloodied pulp. Fast forward to five months later, there’s you hugged up with said family member at the family reunion, #gohardformyfam as your caption. Looks like they recovered quite well from that beat down you administered. Spare me. Or the drama between two parents over child support payments or negligence of a child. That’s nobody’s business! Telling their business is telling yours as well rocket scientist! Be an adult and deal with that privately. My favorite is a back and forth argument on a timeline with threats thrown in the mix. Internet gangsters I believe its called. Subliminal comments laced with sarcasm and venom. You people kill me. *dead*

Where is the discretion? Everybody’s on that “no filter” tip now. Be aware that nothing is personal anymore. That text or email you sent your buddy could very well become a screenshot posted along their timeline for all of their yes men, I mean followers, to see. Flight itineraries, receipts, price tags, pregnancy tests. You name it and I’ve probably seen it. There are people who need validation and to be told how smart, attractive, well-dressed, or funny they are. What’s that term I’m looking for? Oh, yeah, low self-esteem. As a regular person without a “brand” or product that you’re promoting, what life do you have being able to update more than 5 times per day? That seems like a job in itself. There are companies with actual positions that pay to manage their social media. Thank me later 😉

Newsflash! Your personal journal should be kept in your nightstand or a storage trunk away from prying eyes. I understand that almost everyone wants to be famous for something in certain circles. You feel special, liked, and accepted. Who doesn’t enjoy those feelings? But at what costs? Self-respect, your job perhaps. If you are an attention seeker, you may be seeking the wrong attention. If you are an open book type, try the writer’s method called editing. If you put it all out there, what’s left?

If you believe that Instagram or Facebook is your personal journal and all 500 of your followers are really your “friends”, a self evaluation may be in order. That is all. End rant.

Dessert Erotica

Can I taste you? Feel your existence on my lips, my tongue

Undress you with my teeth so that we can become one

Consume every bit of you because you are so sweet

I’m ecstatic and delighted each time we meet

Thoughts of you all day, damn you stuck in my mind

Addicted to your scent, inhale and I’m high

Remnants of your love on my fingertips

Visions of my face buried in your abyss

“Mmmmm” is all I could say

Damn, I really love cupcakes in a special way 😉

Got ya! *hehehehehehehe* I bet you thought I was talking about something else…freaks!! 😉

Swimsuits for the not so cute tummy

After having twins and ballooning to 200 lbs from 135 lbs, I thought I’d never wear a bikini. Yes, never because I’d never ever worn one. Call me Ms. Modest LOL. Even though the baby weight fell off fairly quickly, the scars or “stripes” as my daughters once called them, still remain. My stomach has been dubbed “Krang”. As in one of the villains from the Teenage Mutant Turtles. Of course that is a gross exaggeration, but hilarious nonetheless. Its nothing that a mini tummy tuck won’t fix. Besides, no one has ever seen Krang in the flesh. He’s very creative at concealing his true identity 😉

That brings me to these lovely bathing suits I stumbled upon while searching for one that would flatter and conceal(I’m a sucker for multi-duty anything!) It was truly a task finding a one-piece that wasn’t too cut-out along the sides and back or looked to “grannyish”. This first suit caught my eye immediately because the color and design make it look almost animated.

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This second one has a high-waisted bottom that comes up past the naval. The top has built-in cups for a little added lift. The print is eye-catching as well!

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Both are versatile and come with a thin, black detachable strap around the neck. A few words to the designer though, “You should offer different cup sizes for your bathing suits”. At a size small, 36D bra, these cups could not contain me. My cups ranneth over in both suits. Swimming is NOT suggested if this is also the case for you. Hmph, any sudden moves are not suggested. Just don’t even blink or breath. I kid, I kid! 🙂 Both can be purchased at http://www.riverisland.com/ which is based in the UK.